Mixed Emotions Ahead
It's nine-thirty in the morning, according to my PC. I know this is wrong, however, because nine-thirty in the morning was exactly twelve hours ago. Apparently, my date and time settings need a little tweaking.
Anyway, the day has come to an end, and I'm spent. I was given the day off work, and the wife and kids had plans, so I was left to write all day. It's been an interesting experience.
First of all, here's a look at my current word count. I'm amazed that I've come this far. From a 1,000 word short story originally posted on Instagram, this tale has grown beyond my wildest expectations. I'm coming to the end, and experiencing a mix of emotions that I neither expected nor ever faced before.
Soon, I'll be finishing the first draft of Future Remains. I'm sure there will be plenty of re-writing and editing in the days that follow, but that will be a different phase of the project. A strange feeling settles over me now. The first draft is almost done, and I don't know how to feel about that.
Excited? Oh, you have no idea. I'm very excited. But I'm also rather sad. I've come to know these characters in a way that I can only hope my readers will come to know them, and I don't want to say goodbye. Yes, I killed some of them in horrific ways, and no, this isn't a particularly character driven work. Still. It doesn't mean I don't care about these people who have been living in my cramped, low-rent brain for the better part of a year.
In another post, I said that I treat the final pages of a good book with a certain reverence. I believe that turning the last page should be an emotional experience. I've been through it a hundred times as a reader, but never as a writer. It's personal, guys. It's deep. And it makes me think I should have made that last cup of coffee an Irish one.
I'm going to find myself in a real melancholy as I pen the closing chapters of this, my first novel. That's okay. I work well with melancholy. I have playlists named "melancholy mix 1" through "3." It's the head space in which I operate most comfortably. Still, I can't help but wonder if this is the way it's always going to feel, coming to the end of a project.
If so, it might be time to start putting together a "feel good" playlist.